i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
its not stalking. its research.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
