Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
