So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
