Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
