Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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