Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I understand Curling. That high.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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