Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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