HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
