Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
