I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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