just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
