He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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