we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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