Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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