Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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