I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
