Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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