maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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