did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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