Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
what day is it and did you see me today?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
