I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
