Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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