Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Someone came in the potted fern
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She had a baby Jesus butt plug