I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
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turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out