Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.