we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
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He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.