Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
