I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
