i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
