So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
