Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
