I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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