they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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