Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
