Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
