i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
