I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
