Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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