16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.