Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi