My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock