just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
