They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is Oprah even human
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
