I think I am morally bankrupt
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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