this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Don't tell me you're on acid again