We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
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Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.