There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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