the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i barfeds in our rink
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
