In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
