so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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