rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
