i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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