She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
