people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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