My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
