That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
