ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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