guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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