We're facebook friends in real life
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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