he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
