i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
