Got a toothbrush?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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