This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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