Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
