I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
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New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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